I start my first blog of this new year on a rather serious note - with a question to god.
"Dear god, when you created me, why the EFF was I not given some unique skill which when coupled with my burning desire to excel, would make me successful early in life?WHY? WHY? WHY?"
(Ok.. that was 4 questions!...sue me!)
The reason behind this line of questioning is based broadly on the 2 kinds of people that I have met so far in life.
1) A lot of people I know, are VERY content with where they are and what they have achieved, even though they have all the skill sets to achieve something which is unachievable for a common man - However, they do not have the ambition to utilise these tools and reach the pinnacle of society.
2) the less unfortunate ones who have a burning hunger - a desire - almost an obsession to excel. But who sadly lack those above mentioned tools to do so.
At the outset, let me just say that I fall SLAM in the middle of the second category.
People have always asked me why I was so pessimistic and cynical in my outlook. Anything I say or do, is based on something negative that has been preemptively factored in by me (sometimes subliminally) - Its the way I have been wired I guess.
Anyhow, I have never been able to answer them simply because I have never thought about it before.
Today, in one of my introspection sessions (which are becoming quite frequent fyi) I might have figured out an answer to their question.
Brace yourselves, here I come.
I realised today, that in these 27 miserable years of my existence, I have always been in category 2 - (lets call it "Hungry but deficient") - In isolation, its fine. There are a million others like me. However, if you couple this with the fact that EVERYONE ELSE around me has been in the first category, things kind of fall into place. I positively hate people who come in that category.
Take my dad for instance - Brilliant at whatever he does - Super gift of the gab, extremely high IQ, Super duper big picture viewing capabilities.... He retires at 43.....
I mean.. FUCK....
The contentment just bugs me. Why would anyone with such talent, throw it all away to chill out at 43? If I were him, I would have used the talent... It hurts even as I type this out. (evidently, this blog has started falling on its face!)
What triggered this thought is that for the first time, in a long time, I met someone the other day, who fell somewhere in the middle of these 2 categories - forming a niche for himself. But then I thought about it further, and realised that I was mistaken indeed. There were 3 categories. Not 2. It wasnt a niche he was in. Category 3 has all the go-getters in life. All your modern day CEOs would ideally reside here. People who were firm believers that god has given them their talents for a reason. It is this category that I want to go into.
Sadly, I am yet to identify that one thing that I am good at, which will take me there. If I for a minute become optimistic, I would probably be happy that I am in category 2 rather than 1, simply because what drives me at this moment is the hunger. Thats about it. The hunger.
10 comments:
well, for a cynic, you sure categorize well! aren't we cynics supposed to be wary of everything, but most of all, of being type-casted?
Here's my take on what you say:
1) We're all born
(ahem ahem - at the behest of sounding utterly cliche) alike. We think different, hence we are.
2) Ambiguity can be a beautiful thing - until we start philosophizing it. Clarity is,in essence, it's flipside. how clear can clarity create if not born from the loins of confusion?
3) The only reason you're not propelling into category three is cause you're scared of yourself. I mean, ask me. Hell, i'm running scared shitless, afraid of living naked to my own intellect, passions and emotions.
So don't you think us cynics stereotype cynicism as well? and it's about time to break the typecast?
Sorry sorry sorry for what am about to type... Pre-emptive, must say!
You mention you have hunger... Only hunger! Would that be the reason oppurtunities miss you... When they come knocking, me thinks you are in the cafeteria! :-))) Think about it!
@Aakanksha - have you EVER considered writting a book?!! :D... no seriously!
@Archie - S.O.D. off :p
hungry kya??
Dominoes kha..
on a serious note why dont u just chillax and enjoy life...look at your dad he knows exactly how to enjoy life. Learn from him....dont become a part of the race...look on while others rush at breakneck speed and smile...and meander at ur own pace.
seek and find contentment....success will follow.
Nicely written :) Feel free to read my blog.
http://schnookum.blogspot.com/
I absolutely LOVE this post and I am sooooo in Category 2....you could not have summed up my life better than that :)
Check out my blog and let me know what you think....
http://charlerri.blogspot.com/
Great post. Sometimes, we can completely relate to you ;)
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