Friday, July 29, 2011

A tribute to Delhi

More than a year ago, some months after my relocation to Delhi, I had come up with a blog about the place. This can be considered as the Part II of that blog. But this one I type, sitting in Bangalore.

When my best friends here used to tease me and say that "J, you've become a pukka Delhite da".... I used to laugh it off and rubbish such claims. I am a Bangalorean and always will be... or that is what I thought....

Its been 3 weeks now since I left the NCR region. And I miss the place already.
If anyone asks me what I miss so much, I'd be stumped - I have the same freedom here - get out of the house at any time, come back whenever; Badminton/Cricket Tennis whenever I want; Access to much better watering holes here than back in the Capitol; mobility in the form of my DL-3C vehicle; the same independence that I have been enjoying for the last 11 years or so; the list goes on really...But there is something missing... Lets just call it the "X" factor

Despite all these truths, I feel sudden pangs of nostalgia when the following things happen
1) I walk into any place that is playing loungish-technoish-slow sensual beaty-Indy-pop with a lot of husky "Aye hayes and rubbas"in the lyrics....
2) I see 2 people showing each other their respective fingers and abusing loudly at traffic signals....
3) When I see a wide road!!!! (rare in Bangalore)
4) When I see a Sardarji!
5) When I see these 40+ aunties who think they just celebrated their 16th Birthday 2 days ago, who apply lots of make up-shake up.
6) When I meet people who always add that redundant second part to certain words to make it cool - Beer-sheer, make up-shake up, daaru-shaaru, paneer-vaneer, wire-shire etc
7) When I walk into Subway and misread TERIYAKI CHICKEN on the menu...
6) Whenever I see my number plate - DL3CW 8291
And so on...

One possible hypothesis explaining the "X"factor is that Delhi accepted me warmly -unlike any of the other places I've been to outside Bangalore. Yes there was a lot of friendly anti-regional statements that I encountered initially, but people there always knew how to take one in return... So "You bloody Bihari" (this to a Punjabi who has lived all his life in Delhi) always worked against "You bloody Madraasi" (To any person who hails from anywhere south of any place which shares the same Latitude as Bombay) and this was greeted with a lot of laughs and back slapping.
Contrary to popular belief, the people of Delhi are a warm and friendly lot. I had been made to believe the stereotype - "Delhites are rude, loud, pompous, irritating and arrogant people who only believe in making life miserable for anyone who is not a Delhite".
After staying there for 2 years, I realised how misinformed people were.

As I sit here, listening to that DK Bose number on an endless loop, I cant help reminiscing about the good times Ive had... So I end this piece with a partial list....
BINGING at Karims and Khan Chachas, driving to India gate at 2 in the morning, 4S with friends, Saket mall (the only mall I agree to step into!) , beer @ Rs. 20 a pint, car-o-bar sessions, playing music at sound levels which would deafen even Britney Spears while driving to 4S, Bhangra-shangra, driving to Gurgaon to meet up with friends, arguing with auto drivers over 5 rupees on his meter fare and then going and spending 250 bucks on a beer, terrace parties, lawyer parties (with some wonderful people I know), farewell parties, random road trips without planning whatsoever, parathas behind office @ Vikrams (best in the world), Connought Place Keventers and Wengers, Lajpat Nagar haggling, Govindpuri haggling, Gorging on momos, Samosa and Jalebi for breakfast, Burra Kebabs, Lutyens Delhi (Sigh), 10 lane highways in the middle of the city, oogling at hotties (and praying at the same time that they don't open their mouths), deliberately mimicking Jats, Dinners on the highway which resulted in drives to Jaipur ......................................................................... Arrrrrrrrrgh.. this is a limitless list.

Thank you Delhi. I'm not done with you.


Monday, May 24, 2010



Hysterics and the fact that I haven't grown up aside, I have learnt a couple of things along the way. Here they are....

1) There is no such thing as a PERFECT job profile - Though "Luxury bed tester"and "playboy"are still some very enviable professions going around, these are hardly classic LinkedIn material! - I dont claim to have job hopped so much as to make such a learned claim, but if I look around, there aren't too many people around who are too kicked about going to work on a Monday morning. The trade off of having a great job (definition: You like going to work on a Monday) is that you'll either be placed in South Western Zambia as those profiles rake in the Gandhis (or the equivalent of a Gandhi in Zambia) or it pays so less that you think twice before buying peanuts from the friendly neighborhood peanut vendor...

2) Management degrees are highly over-rated - ok.. this point is in here primarily because of the disastrous placement season I went through in 2009 (if you can even call it a "placement"season - Left to me, I would have described it as a "High level, corporate Potato Sale") Recession apart, I feel that the much sought after "M.B.A." is a very overrated experience. It might be your fast track into the management echelons but you'd get there anyway if you just put your head down and slogged when you got out of college. In fact, having relevant experience in the field of your Undergraduation degree, takes you to a much better place than someone who is trying to get there post a hot shot Management degree. Some of the chaps/lasses who I know through my first job at Infosys, who rejected any "MBA" ideas incepted into their cranial cavities by peers, parents, other sources are today in really good positions. They will take a bit longer to get to the much hyped "management cadre" but when they get there, they'd be so grounded that noone will be able to push them around.

3) Its better to be a GREAT team player than a star - very cliched statement - but hey, this is my blog and this is what I've learnt! Álso, this doesn't mean that I don't have ambitions of being a CEO some day - but I hope this ride to the top will be in a luxury bus rather than in a 1-seater sports coupe prototype... (evidently, I'm getting very sucky at analogies). There will be a lot of people who will beg to differ here, Mark Zuckerberg being right in front of this line - but be it good times or bad, its always been a solid team that has gotten me through shit (Lets try to quietly avoid the fact that I perhaps dont have what it takes to be a maverick... so shhhhh)

4) Potatoes are evil beings with minds of their own - Refer to this for more....

5) Life is short - Dont hold back too much for a rainy day - This surprisingly coming from a South Indian Brahmin like me! Being in Delhi for the last 2 years has given me an insight on how Delhites love to live it up. Of course I will still maintain that the average Delhite spends more than he can afford, but what I like a lot is the fact that they know how to have FUN. They don't hold back on something just because it might effect something else (which we sometimes do when the second something is very very trivial indeed). Life is short and we earn so that we can have a good time. - So again, this doesnt mean that you go and blow up your salary by the 5th because then you'll have to live on potatoes for the rest of the month! In the last 2 years, I have saved enough for tax saving instruments and minor mutual fund investments. At the same time, Ive also managed to scrape in a decent down payment for a car (a decision which led me to forgo a London trip). This has been done on a very very modest pay package indeed. What was left, a majority of which would have been saved in ideal (read: if I was in Bangalore) situations was "invested" in "having a good time"!

6) Location is everything - Most people who know me well, would know that I did time in Kolkata. Those who don't know me, please don't be alarmed. It wasn't jail or anything - at least not officially. It is there were I learnt that your location is of utmost importance. Those 4-5 months is Kolkata were the worst 4-5 months of my life. Having said this, I don't boast of a fantastic lifestyle outside Kolkata, but it was BAD. This might sound like sour grapes, but I don't think I would have been too happy to be posted in a Patna or a Barabanki or a Ajmer on a 3 year sales assignment even if it was by a PnG or a HLL.... (again, this is debatable!)

7) Mandy Moore was right - (Some) Girls just wanna have fun! - Well.. no comments!

8) Never get bogged down by boastful people. Chances are, they're as miserable as you are - There were times in the past when I would really get depressed when random people told me how cool they were and what cool jobs they had and what cool things they were doing etc. Most of these random people weren't even ASKED what they were up to.. so there were no pleasantries or "wassups"exchanged and they would just start by sayin "Oh btw..... " This happened a lot post MBA when everyone around was trying to justify opportunity costs of leaving their jobs for the course. This is when I realised Point #1 - there is no such thing as a perfect job... Also, I realised that in most of these cases, the bragger in question was just trying to convince (herself)himself that (s)he had a good thing going for (her)him by relaying it rather loudly and getting pats on (her)his back. My mom always said that this was the "Oldest trick in the book" and that I fell for it with alarming consistency.

9) Help people when in need - I will never go down in history to be known as a philanthropist but after a personal experience where I was shown a phenomenal amount of generosity when I was really in need, I will try to emulate the act some day. When I was without a job for 2 months, I had nowhere to go. Home was not an option as I wanted to continue the job hunt in Delhi. At this point, I was welcomed with both hands wide open into my friend's house where she took care of me, fed me(with AWESOME food) and at one point, even clothed me(her quest to get me a new wardrobe!!!!). She was a great friend so this act could still be fathomable (very difficult given the scale of generosity - but STILL remotely fathomable). Who I am very grateful to (apart from this friend) is her husband who was equally welcoming. Before this, yes, we had met at parties, hung out a bit, had a good time. But this was a completely different ball game. At no point in my stay at their house was a made to feel unwanted... Or like a burden... or even like an irritant. The both of them went out of the way to make me feel wanted (at that time, it seemed that no company wanted me!)
At the end of 2 months when I finally got that job, I couldn't help but think of what would have been my situation/condition if they weren't there to help me when I needed someone the most. With this I learnt a huge lesson - it was a lesson in giving - Generosity 101. I hope at some time in my life, I would be able to help someone else out like this.

And with this I run out of things I have learnt in the 29 years of my (miserable) life. Ofcourse there have been a lot of other things Ive learnt too ( like
1) Never ask for a Pepsi when you are on a business lunch with a client who works at Coke
2) Never go "Ohhh... cute dawwggieee ooogliii wooogliiii..."with Dobermans...
3) Never take a vegetarian on a dinner date to Mohammad Ali Road... Chances are you'll have bigger things to worry about apart from puke.
4) NEVER...repeat.. NEVER chase Vodka with beer....
5) to be continued when I'm really jobless next..... :D
... but most of these things must be learnt the hard way! :D
With this I stop here... Hope all those young people out there reading this blog, pay heed to whatever I have said. Else Santa will not be happy on the 25th!.. Adios!

Monday, March 22, 2010

If you got it, use it

I start my first blog of this new year on a rather serious note - with a question to god.

"Dear god, when you created me, why the EFF was I not given some unique skill which when coupled with my burning desire to excel, would make me successful early in life?WHY? WHY? WHY?"

(Ok.. that was 4 questions!...sue me!)

The reason behind this line of questioning is based broadly on the 2 kinds of people that I have met so far in life.
1) A lot of people I know, are VERY content with where they are and what they have achieved, even though they have all the skill sets to achieve something which is unachievable for a common man - However, they do not have the ambition to utilise these tools and reach the pinnacle of society.

2) the less unfortunate ones who have a burning hunger - a desire - almost an obsession to excel. But who sadly lack those above mentioned tools to do so.

At the outset, let me just say that I fall SLAM in the middle of the second category.

People have always asked me why I was so pessimistic and cynical in my outlook. Anything I say or do, is based on something negative that has been preemptively factored in by me (sometimes subliminally) - Its the way I have been wired I guess.
Anyhow, I have never been able to answer them simply because I have never thought about it before.

Today, in one of my introspection sessions (which are becoming quite frequent fyi) I might have figured out an answer to their question.

Brace yourselves, here I come.
I realised today, that in these 27 miserable years of my existence, I have always been in category 2 - (lets call it "Hungry but deficient") - In isolation, its fine. There are a million others like me. However, if you couple this with the fact that EVERYONE ELSE around me has been in the first category, things kind of fall into place. I positively hate people who come in that category.
Take my dad for instance - Brilliant at whatever he does - Super gift of the gab, extremely high IQ, Super duper big picture viewing capabilities.... He retires at 43.....

I mean.. FUCK....

The contentment just bugs me. Why would anyone with such talent, throw it all away to chill out at 43? If I were him, I would have used the talent... It hurts even as I type this out. (evidently, this blog has started falling on its face!)

What triggered this thought is that for the first time, in a long time, I met someone the other day, who fell somewhere in the middle of these 2 categories - forming a niche for himself. But then I thought about it further, and realised that I was mistaken indeed. There were 3 categories. Not 2. It wasnt a niche he was in. Category 3 has all the go-getters in life. All your modern day CEOs would ideally reside here. People who were firm believers that god has given them their talents for a reason. It is this category that I want to go into.

Sadly, I am yet to identify that one thing that I am good at, which will take me there. If I for a minute become optimistic, I would probably be happy that I am in category 2 rather than 1, simply because what drives me at this moment is the hunger. Thats about it. The hunger.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Delhi Blues...

Its been 8 months since I came to Delhi - and BOY am I loving it (P.S. - just became a fan of "I love New Delhi" on Facebook now!)
I have semi-permanently stayed in many places apart from Bangalore in the last decade - Lets see.. mm..Manipal, Madras(Shudders), Hyderabad, Mysore, Bombay.... A long list by any standard- but I have never come across a place like this! So like many blogs before this, let me try and list down the things which were like super strange for me (Read: Hairy Black Dosa eating Madraasi in the local context) when I came here for the first time. Some of these points are positive, and some negative. But all of them add to the flavour and make Delhi, DELHI- unique and likeable

1) Delhi is probably the ONLY place in the world where one can abuse someones mother AND sister in the SAME sentence and get away with it. Maa-Ben Gaalis are HILARIOUS for people like me. Some guys are SO abusive that BenC is usually used in place of commas (a breather, a pause) before finally landing the final maternal punch... this several times in a normal conversation!

2) People here have Dosa and Idli for DINNER!!!! - I promised that I would treat my colleague to a good South Indian breakfast of Idlis, Dosas and so on.... Before I could finish the sentence, a sort of a disgusted look had come on her face... And she was like " YOU HAVE DOSA AND IDLI FOR BREAKFAST???".... Huh... We South Indians dont now anything. Needless to say, these people have Jalebi for breakfast!!!! HOW!

3) FENTABULOUS infrastructure - Part of the reason why I love Delhi so much, I think, is because of the infrastructure that it boasts of. I have always been the sorts who got turned on by wide roads, long flyovers, well lit street corners, metros, subways and so on... Agreed, Delhi is like Del-gaon compared to Shanghai or Del-halli when compared to a Moscow or a New York... But hey, in India, it ROCKS on this front. (And maybe.. just maybe... (Bombayites can close their eyes now)... this fact is magnified because ive come from a city like Bombay where the infrastructure cant support even half the present population!)

4) THE CHICKS... ok.... maybe I can reserve this point for another blog... or a book maybe

5) Traffic sense - NEGATIVE! On my first day here, I was at the company guest house in this place called New Friends Colony. A B-school friend of mine (Bhuvan) who lives in Gurgaon was on my side of town.(Read: South Delhi) So he asked me to come to Defence Colony to meet him. So I set out on an auto. The route that this guy took, saw us on this 10-lane road, 5 on each side (NOT exaggerating here - some sort of ring road - refer to point no. 3!) where we were cruising along at an alarming speed. (65-70 kmph for a vehicle that was not designed for speeds more than 35 kmph). Now imagine this... We were on the middle lane with 2 lanes on each side. Something BIG and BLACK overtakes us from the left... ZOOOOOM... at the lights, I realised that it was one of those BMW SUVs but thats not the point im trying to make. This same Beemer gentleman is on the left most lane now, AND HE TAKE A RIGHT TURN... AND HOW! This might not sound very odd in India, but if we consider the width of the road, the time of the day (around 7 in the evening, peak hour), the size of that junction, the speed at which he accelerated from 0 to atleast 60kmph, and so on..... You can imagine how incredible a sight it must have been!...

6) THE FOOD - Sigh. Delhi is any foodie's mecca - PERIOD. The most brilliant food I have ever had in my life. Kebabs, Tikkas, Parathas, Pooris, Daals, MAKKKHHUN...this list of cardiac arrest inducing, mouth watering items are never ending really.

7) SHOWSHAA - This is something a Bangalorean like me has never come across - atleast not in this magnitude no... We South Indians have always been on the conservative side.
Let me see I can bring the difference out between what happens in the South and here, making use of 2 hypothetical father-son pairs (one from say Madras, and the other from Delhi)

SI Daddy: "Son, if you earn 1 rupee, then spend 25 paise on housing, 25 paise on food, invest 25 paise.. and save the rest" (This btw being one of those hep-SI daddies... who save only 25% of their income - operative word here being "only")

NI Daddy: "Son, if you earn 1 rupee, then I insist that you spend 1 rupee on the car, 3 rupees on eating out and 5 rupees on everything else" (Boy am I gonna get SO beaten up for this)
This, ladies and gentleman, is what I define as showshaa!... Everyone MUST know that you are living a good life - Keeping up with the Joneses can now be rephrased to "arrey, Keep up with the Bhatias da puttar!!" - The asian paints "Golf Links Ilaakha" wala ad hits the nail on the head really.

8) SPORTS FACILITIES - Another reason why I love this place so much. If you throw one stone, you hit 4 sports complexes - Playing a sport here is really affordable! For instance, in summers, I was playing tennis everyday @ 500 bucks a month - this with a coach on a cement court! (Then ofcourse, you have courts where you need to book a month in advance and then pay 1200 bucks and hour - but thats for people in point no. 7!). There are cricket grounds everywhere. It is of little wonder that the Delhi Ranji team has risen in the last few years. The opportunities available are tremendous. (Let me not start talking about Siri Fort people - I will LOSE it if I do - maybe some other day, some other blog.)

9) 20 bucks for a bottle of beer - CHEEEERSH.. ... burp - I think the differential between retail prices and the rates at a pub will be the largest in the country. So a bottle of beer that can be procured for Rs. 20 in a "THEKKA", can go as high as 300 Bald Gandhis in some pubs!

10) BANGRA POP! - Though Im not much of a clubbing sort of a person, I have been to quite a few since I have landed here. (I would just like to re-establish the fact that I have 2 left feet before a beer or two and that I am John Travolta's daddy after 4). So this is how it goes in a club. Till around 7:30 in the evening, its a normal pub - i.e. they'll play AWESOME music (not very different from what you get in Pecos, Bangalore)- So there will be a little bit of Zepplin, a little bit of Floyd, the Beatles and sometimes if you're lucky, even some Morrison. Till then, it is (what is a huge concept here) "Happy hours" -Alcohol at HALF the rate. Even then, the establishment's neon lit fly killing machine is at its buzzy loudest - More flies than people. Then at 7:30, the waiter comes around for the last Happy hour order. At this point, they music shifts from being AWESOME to "GHASTLY" - and by this I mean some crazy "House" music and techno. If you look around at this time, you will notice a lot more number of heads, most of which would be bobbing up and down, enjoying their music. This is also around the time by which I have drunk myself numb - so that the music is slightly more bearable.By 9:00, Exit remotely-something like-but-not-exactly-music , Enter BANGRA POP. The establishment COMES ALIVE. Sheesh.. UNHEARABLE music sung in the vilest language known at decibel levels which would crack concrete. (Makes Tamil rock sound like a lullaby) - People just LOSE it then. They are ALL over the place. Hands, legs, beer bottles, turbans, duppattas. etc etc.

These are just SOME of the things which make Delhi, DELHI.If I live for a while longer, I shall sit sometime, and complete this blog. Having said so much, I might be killed before the new year!
For now, I shall go back to work!
Signing off for the last time this year - BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Friday, October 16, 2009


As we walk into the 2nd decade of of the 21st century, a lot of India is still how it used to be a 100 years ago.

Very recently, I got a chance to see interior India! I was sent to do a market research in this place called Barabanki which happens to be 30 km away from the UP State capital of Lucknow. The reason why I was sent there is immaterial to this blog. I did my work like I had planned to but what stood out was the fact that being only 30 km from a city like Lucknow, Barabanki doesnt seem to have progressed much.
I reached the place at 11 in the morning and to my shock I was told that the market had "just opened" for the day. So I kept quiet and started off with my research immediately. At around 1 in the afternoon, I decided to check into a Hotel. To my dismay, I was told that Barabanki didnt have hotels! So I set out to find a certain "Tourist Lodge" - a name I had come across on the web while I was researching about the place.
On reaching Tourist Lodge, I realised that it was a small 2 storey building (semi pukka construction) which had never seen a coat of paint. On inquiring whether the establishment owned an AC, I was told that they had "a" fan but the power supply was very erratic. I know I had asked a stupid question in the first place but at 48 degrees in the sun, an AC was all that I could think of. (Actually, fleeting images of a cool swimming pool with a Long Island ice tea waiting for me at the pool side also crossed my mind but I was a little pessimistic considering the surroundings)
I asked the proprietor(an obese unshaven bloke with red paan stained teeth) where I could find an AC with a room attached. After 3-4 seconds of deep thought and chewing and sucking to juices out of that paan in his mouth, I was asked to try "The Reshidancy Laaj". Hmmmm... That sounded nicer didnt it?
So I took a U-turn and headed in the general direction of the Residency Lodge. On reaching the location I was relieved to find out that it was a proper pukka building. (Never thought I would be so happy seeing a normal house). So I checked into their "best" room which the owner claimed, had an AC. Sure it did - Brand new 1956 model - oh and it worked too. Hallelujah
And in all this excitement I had forgotten that all electrical devices had one thing in common - they ran on ELECTRICITY!

The biggest mistake I made was taking an AC room simply because the fan wasnt working and there was no electricity for 18 hours that day! So one can only imagine the misery I went through!
It is then when it struck me that we take so many things for granted in cities. Yes, we curse and abuse the government when we have 1 hour powercuts, we crib when our electricity bills are so high - what we dont realise is, WE HAVE ELECTRICITY!

On the Second day of my trip, with 2 and half hours of sleep behind me, we went on a market visit around Barabanki. Boy... And I thought I had seen it all (or a lot more than what I actually have!!!)...For starters, lets just say that Barabanki was like Beverly Hills compared to its surrounding areas. Moving on, I know now, how girls in Delhi feel. LETCHED AT! For some reason, everywhere we went, I was getting stared at. I got so conscious, that I finally sat in front with the driver. (Let me just add that the staring didnt stop).

To think that we see a lot of poverty at traffic lights in cities would be huge misconception as I have never seen such poor people in my life. Funnily, they have all accepted the fact and live each day as it comes. Electricity or the lack of it doesnt bother them. What they fear most is that they might not get their only meal in the day. Village after village, nothing changed. I stopped frequently, to enquire about people's "thanda tel" application habits(The subject of my research) and everywhere, the answer was the same - "Humare paas khaane ke liye paisa nahi hai bhai sahib. Thanda tel jab kharidte hai, hum ye soch ke kharidte hai ki isse lagate lagate humaare din ki pareshaaniyaan bhool jayenge. Chaine ki neend soyenge" This might be great news for "Thanda tel" manufacturers but this really moved me.

Another thing I learnt almost immediately was the value of ONE rupee. Gosh does it go far or what. At one point, I felt hungry. So we stopped the car at this decent looking place (Read: it was covered, they had plastic cups and the onion pakodas were smelling good). I ordered 2-3 plates of pakodas and tea for the driver and myself. Soon as we had tucked into the savories and finished our tea, the owner suggested that we try his Samosas as well. He said he would fry a fresh batch just for us. I was hungry (I repeat) so I agreed to his proposition. The samosas there must have been small because between the driver and myself, we finished 9 of them. They were heavenly.
Then came the time where I had to settle the bill - A princely 19 Rupees!!!..A buck each for those samosas and 4 for a plate of pakodas with the tea on the house..... I was shocked into silence. I slipped that man 3 ten rupee notes and asked him to keep the change and I could almost see the tears in his eyes.
When we drove away, I asked the driver why the man had given us the tea (in those mutka containers) on the house as he could have easily charged for them as well. To this, he joked that perhaps the owner believed that anyone who got so much money into his house was a lucky charm - a guest of honour - and to charge for tea would be like an insult.
He laughed after that... but I didnt... How can such poor people be so generous? Why do we relatively rich people crib so much? Why is it that we are unhappy when most of the people who I saw that day seemed content? is it because they dont show it on their faces? Why do we waste food? why dont we value money? ......

These were some of the questions that haunted me all the way back to Lucknow and on my flight back to Delhi... I was going to find it difficult to sleep that night so as soon as I got out of the airport and got into a taxi, I stopped at the nearest paan waala

Yes - I bought a one rupee Sachet of "Thanda tel" - And boy did it give me a "chaine ka neend" that night!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A little more about me......General gas...

Anyone who knows me well enough will definitely know that food, Hollywood and sport constitute a large part of my life. So here is a blog about some of the things that people might not normally know about me.....

1) All roads lead to............Ro...errr......a restaurant: It has been established on numerous occasions in the past, that food is an integral part of my life (as clearly mentioned in the first line)... But I take this fact a little too far. I have a friend by the name of Deepa, who always makes fun of the way I give directions... She says that ALL LANDMARKS that I give are invariably restaurants and coffee shops or some institution connected directly or indirectly to food! So if a normal person would say "go straight down MG road and take a right at the huge rounder....", I would say "Get on to MG road... You'll pass Tandoor and BBQ nation on the way. Keep going till you see Wimpy's on the left... then take a right...If you get to Coffee Day, you've gone too far"........!!!

2) Another thing that is very characteristic of me is the way I beat around the bush. If anything can be said directly, I will keep going on and on... like the Energiser Bunny on a tangent. Which is why, during the 2 years of my MBA course, whenever we needed to stretch a presentation, that was left to me!... I would talk about anything and everything and buy time....Especially subjects like CSR and Consumer Behaviour  where we had difficult teachers who would have clauses like "each group has to give a presentation for AT LEAST half an hour"... this when the essence of the presentation could be delivered in 3 and a half minutes - that too by eloquent chaps like Atal Bihari Vajpayee in his element who could tranquilise a virile ox in half a minute...

3) Oh... Since I have given such an elaborate analogy, it would be appropriate to mention here that I am FAMOUS for giving such analogies. I guess this is something that someone who is a regular reader of my blog would figure out.. But none the less, this is for the benefit of someone who has chanced it for the first time.

4) Procrastination is another of my favorite pastimes.... Trust me when I say that I started this blog 2 weeks ago!!!. I couldn't seem to be able to complete it (as it is about me you see!!) so I kept pushing it further behind without completing it... This trait has got me into trouble MANY a times. Submissions, household chores, haircut Sundays, duty visits to relatives... oh the LIST goes on.. 

5) Talking about lists... A majority of things that I say are heavily embedded with a whole lot of shit that normal people don't bother looking up - Trivia. I wont say I'm a quizzer. In fact, I'm far from a quizzer. But if someone were to ask me to give them a list of the 5 most feared people in the history of humanity, I would rattle the top5 in an instant. Lists have been things that have always got me to sit up and think. The List of people with the highest recorded (or estimated) IQs (which btw, is headed by an English chiropractor who's name I don't recollect followed by 2 of the greatest musicians - Mozart and Beethoven -  known to mankind in the top 10), or List of the countries that could blow up the World in 1975, 1985... and so on...or List of the most famous gangsters known to mankind...List of sporting events with the highest TRPs......AAAAAAAARGH .....The lists go on and I cant get enough of them... The reason for this, I guess, is attributed to the way my father (probably one of the most glib talkers I have ever seen - a personification of the phrase "gift of the gab") speaks - Comparisons and lists.... A normal conversation about a seemingly harmless topic like say...mmm.. Tennis.... would invariably see you hearing him say something like "Mc Enroe had the greatest game followed by Borg, Cash and Connors in that order..."...This with an air of such confidence that even Jimmy Connors would believe that he was inferior to Bjorn Borg or John Mc Enroe.... whoa.. come on man.. I didn't ask for that.... Well.. that's what people think when I talk!!!

6) What else...mmmmmm... aaah... yes....Punctuality.... Its pretty ironic, but for a serial procrastinator, I follow German standard time when it comes to punctuality. I'm usually NEVER late.. as a result I HATE waiting....... There is a famous joke/saying which goes like this
"People who come in last(read: L.A.T.E) for a get together often have the MOST amount of fun".................... Very true shit...

7) Another one of my favorites apart from the usual suspects (i.e. Food, cricket and Hollywood) is music. Yes yes...  I have written a blog about my favorite 10 bands (a LIST again folks)... But something that even people who know me surely cannot fathom is the fact that I am absolutely infatuated by Western Classical music. Actually, I can even go as far as saying that I love good Indian classical music or better still fusion music(or PURE music... in the form unadulterated by a squeaky voice) . Though I wouldn't be able to name even ONE Indian artist to save my life, its the pure music which gives me high. Among the Western artists, my all time favorites are Beethoven, Bach, Mozart and Vivaldi (in that order)... sue me if I am boring you with another list! This form of music just calms me when I'm pissed off in/with life :D... There have been a numerous occasions when I shout/bang doors/abuse using family references/break things in a fit of rage (etc) and just calm down in a jiffy after a 20 minute session with the masters!....

8) I am superstitious to the bloody core. If it has been said that one must NOT break mirrors or cross the path of a black cat or walk under a ladder balanced against a wall (etcetra etcetra and the other Spanish girls).... I wont. Oh.. Believe me, there have been times when I have sat in the same god-damned position on a bloody sofa just because Sachin Tendulkar hit a boundary in a cricket match. 

9) And finally, this blog would be incomplete if I do no mention that I am a born PESSIMIST.  That too of the highest order (if there are orders of pessimism that is). "The bottle is HALF EMPTY".. is an attitude that I have always carried off with seemless ease. A simple explanation for this is that I believe that it is better to not hope for too much in life simply because if it doesn't match up to what you wished for, you will be disappointed. For instance, right from the beginning, I don't believe that too many people will read this blog even though it will make me happy if a lot of people read it. But when a lot of people message/mail/scrap/comment about it, it makes me happy simply because I wasn't expecting too much of a response.

On that happy note, I shall sign off for the night. I hope I have not bored you people with too much of gas. But hey, this is what has been taught to us in the last 2 years!

Good night...