I start my first blog of this new year on a rather serious note - with a question to god.
"Dear god, when you created me, why the EFF was I not given some unique skill which when coupled with my burning desire to excel, would make me successful early in life?WHY? WHY? WHY?"
(Ok.. that was 4 questions!...sue me!)
The reason behind this line of questioning is based broadly on the 2 kinds of people that I have met so far in life.
1) A lot of people I know, are VERY content with where they are and what they have achieved, even though they have all the skill sets to achieve something which is unachievable for a common man - However, they do not have the ambition to utilise these tools and reach the pinnacle of society.
2) the less unfortunate ones who have a burning hunger - a desire - almost an obsession to excel. But who sadly lack those above mentioned tools to do so.
At the outset, let me just say that I fall SLAM in the middle of the second category.
People have always asked me why I was so pessimistic and cynical in my outlook. Anything I say or do, is based on something negative that has been preemptively factored in by me (sometimes subliminally) - Its the way I have been wired I guess.
Anyhow, I have never been able to answer them simply because I have never thought about it before.
Today, in one of my introspection sessions (which are becoming quite frequent fyi) I might have figured out an answer to their question.
Brace yourselves, here I come.
I realised today, that in these 27 miserable years of my existence, I have always been in category 2 - (lets call it "Hungry but deficient") - In isolation, its fine. There are a million others like me. However, if you couple this with the fact that EVERYONE ELSE around me has been in the first category, things kind of fall into place. I positively hate people who come in that category.
Take my dad for instance - Brilliant at whatever he does - Super gift of the gab, extremely high IQ, Super duper big picture viewing capabilities.... He retires at 43.....
I mean.. FUCK....
The contentment just bugs me. Why would anyone with such talent, throw it all away to chill out at 43? If I were him, I would have used the talent... It hurts even as I type this out. (evidently, this blog has started falling on its face!)
What triggered this thought is that for the first time, in a long time, I met someone the other day, who fell somewhere in the middle of these 2 categories - forming a niche for himself. But then I thought about it further, and realised that I was mistaken indeed. There were 3 categories. Not 2. It wasnt a niche he was in. Category 3 has all the go-getters in life. All your modern day CEOs would ideally reside here. People who were firm believers that god has given them their talents for a reason. It is this category that I want to go into.
Sadly, I am yet to identify that one thing that I am good at, which will take me there. If I for a minute become optimistic, I would probably be happy that I am in category 2 rather than 1, simply because what drives me at this moment is the hunger. Thats about it. The hunger.
