A tribute to Delhi

More than a year ago, some months after my relocation to Delhi, I had come up with a blog about the place. This can be considered as the Part II of that blog. But this one I type, sitting in Bangalore.

When my best friends here used to tease me and say that "J, you've become a pukka Delhite da".... I used to laugh it off and rubbish such claims. I am a Bangalorean and always will be... or that is what I thought....

Its been 3 weeks now since I left the NCR region. And I miss the place already.

If anyone asks me what I miss so much, I'd be stumped - I have the same freedom here - get out of the house at any time, come back whenever; Badminton/Cricket Tennis whenever I want; Access to much better watering holes here than back in the Capitol; mobility in the form of my DL-3C vehicle; the same independence that I have been enjoying for the last 11 years or so; the list goes on really...But there is something missing... Lets just call it the "X" factor

Despite all these truths, I feel sudden pangs of nostalgia when the following things happen

1) I walk into any place that is playing loungish-technoish-slow sensual beaty-Indy-pop with a lot of husky "Aye hayes and rubbas"in the lyrics....

2) I see 2 people showing each other their respective fingers and abusing loudly at traffic signals....

3) When I see a wide road!!!! (rare in Bangalore)

4) When I see a Sardarji!

5) When I see these 40+ aunties who think they just celebrated their 16th Birthday 2 days ago, who apply lots of make up-shake up.

6) When I meet people who always add that redundant second part to certain words to make it cool - Beer-sheer, make up-shake up, daaru-shaaru, paneer-vaneer, wire-shire etc

7) When I walk into Subway and misread TERIYAKI CHICKEN on the menu...

6) Whenever I see my number plate - DL3CW 8291

And so on...

One possible hypothesis explaining the "X"factor is that Delhi accepted me warmly -unlike any of the other places I've been to outside Bangalore. Yes there was a lot of friendly anti-regional statements that I encountered initially, but people there always knew how to take one in return... So "You bloody Bihari" (this to a Punjabi who has lived all his life in Delhi) always worked against "You bloody Madraasi" (To any person who hails from anywhere south of any place which shares the same Latitude as Bombay) and this was greeted with a lot of laughs and back slapping.

Contrary to popular belief, the people of Delhi are a warm and friendly lot. I had been made to believe the stereotype - "Delhites are rude, loud, pompous, irritating and arrogant people who only believe in making life miserable for anyone who is not a Delhite".

After staying there for 2 years, I realised how misinformed people were.

As I sit here, listening to that DK Bose number on an endless loop, I cant help reminiscing about the good times Ive had... So I end this piece with a partial list....

BINGING at Karims and Khan Chachas, driving to India gate at 2 in the morning, 4S with friends, Saket mall (the only mall I agree to step into!) , beer @ Rs. 20 a pint, car-o-bar sessions, playing music at sound levels which would deafen even Britney Spears while driving to 4S, Bhangra-shangra, driving to Gurgaon to meet up with friends, arguing with auto drivers over 5 rupees on his meter fare and then going and spending 250 bucks on a beer, terrace parties, lawyer parties (with some wonderful people I know), farewell parties, random road trips without planning whatsoever, parathas behind office @ Vikrams (best in the world), Connought Place Keventers and Wengers, Lajpat Nagar haggling, Govindpuri haggling, Gorging on momos, Samosa and Jalebi for breakfast, Burra Kebabs, Lutyens Delhi (Sigh), 10 lane highways in the middle of the city, oogling at hotties (and praying at the same time that they don't open their mouths), deliberately mimicking Jats, Dinners on the highway which resulted in drives to Jaipur ......................................................................... Arrrrrrrrrgh.. this is a limitless list.

Thank you Delhi. I'm not done with you.

:)

Life......

I turned 29 ... (SHRIEKS LIKE A CHICK WHO'S JUST SEEN TWO 500 POUND GORILLAS MATING........ RUNS AROUND THE ROOM BANGING HIS HEAD ON THE WALL.... )...

Hysterics and the fact that I haven't grown up aside, I have learnt a couple of things along the way. Here they are....

1) There is no such thing as a PERFECT job profile - Though "Luxury bed tester"and "playboy"are still some very enviable professions going around, these are hardly classic LinkedIn material! - I dont claim to have job hopped so much as to make such a learned claim, but if I look around, there aren't too many people around who are too kicked about going to work on a Monday morning. The trade off of having a great job (definition: You like going to work on a Monday) is that you'll either be placed in South Western Zambia as those profiles rake in the Gandhis (or the equivalent of a Gandhi in Zambia) or it pays so less that you think twice before buying peanuts from the friendly neighborhood peanut vendor...

2) Management degrees are highly over-rated - ok.. this point is in here primarily because of the disastrous placement season I went through in 2009 (if you can even call it a "placement"season - Left to me, I would have described it as a "High level, corporate Potato Sale") Recession apart, I feel that the much sought after "M.B.A." is a very overrated experience. It might be your fast track into the management echelons but you'd get there anyway if you just put your head down and slogged when you got out of college. In fact, having relevant experience in the field of your Undergraduation degree, takes you to a much better place than someone who is trying to get there post a hot shot Management degree. Some of the chaps/lasses who I know through my first job at Infosys, who rejected any "MBA" ideas incepted into their cranial cavities by peers, parents, other sources are today in really good positions. They will take a bit longer to get to the much hyped "management cadre" but when they get there, they'd be so grounded that noone will be able to push them around.

3) Its better to be a GREAT team player than a star - very cliched statement - but hey, this is my blog and this is what I've learnt! Álso, this doesn't mean that I don't have ambitions of being a CEO some day - but I hope this ride to the top will be in a luxury bus rather than in a 1-seater sports coupe prototype... (evidently, I'm getting very sucky at analogies). There will be a lot of people who will beg to differ here, Mark Zuckerberg being right in front of this line - but be it good times or bad, its always been a solid team that has gotten me through shit (Lets try to quietly avoid the fact that I perhaps dont have what it takes to be a maverick... so shhhhh)

4) Potatoes are evil beings with minds of their own - Refer to this for more....

5) Life is short - Dont hold back too much for a rainy day - This surprisingly coming from a South Indian Brahmin like me! Being in Delhi for the last 2 years has given me an insight on how Delhites love to live it up. Of course I will still maintain that the average Delhite spends more than he can afford, but what I like a lot is the fact that they know how to have FUN. They don't hold back on something just because it might effect something else (which we sometimes do when the second something is very very trivial indeed). Life is short and we earn so that we can have a good time. - So again, this doesnt mean that you go and blow up your salary by the 5th because then you'll have to live on potatoes for the rest of the month! In the last 2 years, I have saved enough for tax saving instruments and minor mutual fund investments. At the same time, Ive also managed to scrape in a decent down payment for a car (a decision which led me to forgo a London trip). This has been done on a very very modest pay package indeed. What was left, a majority of which would have been saved in ideal (read: if I was in Bangalore) situations was "invested" in "having a good time"!

6) Location is everything - Most people who know me well, would know that I did time in Kolkata. Those who don't know me, please don't be alarmed. It wasn't jail or anything - at least not officially. It is there were I learnt that your location is of utmost importance. Those 4-5 months is Kolkata were the worst 4-5 months of my life. Having said this, I don't boast of a fantastic lifestyle outside Kolkata, but it was BAD. This might sound like sour grapes, but I don't think I would have been too happy to be posted in a Patna or a Barabanki or a Ajmer on a 3 year sales assignment even if it was by a PnG or a HLL.... (again, this is debatable!)

7) Mandy Moore was right - (Some) Girls just wanna have fun! - Well.. no comments!

8) Never get bogged down by boastful people. Chances are, they're as miserable as you are - There were times in the past when I would really get depressed when random people told me how cool they were and what cool jobs they had and what cool things they were doing etc. Most of these random people weren't even ASKED what they were up to.. so there were no pleasantries or "wassups"exchanged and they would just start by sayin "Oh btw..... " This happened a lot post MBA when everyone around was trying to justify opportunity costs of leaving their jobs for the course. This is when I realised Point #1 - there is no such thing as a perfect job... Also, I realised that in most of these cases, the bragger in question was just trying to convince (herself)himself that (s)he had a good thing going for (her)him by relaying it rather loudly and getting pats on (her)his back. My mom always said that this was the "Oldest trick in the book" and that I fell for it with alarming consistency.

9) Help people when in need - I will never go down in history to be known as a philanthropist but after a personal experience where I was shown a phenomenal amount of generosity when I was really in need, I will try to emulate the act some day. When I was without a job for 2 months, I had nowhere to go. Home was not an option as I wanted to continue the job hunt in Delhi. At this point, I was welcomed with both hands wide open into my friend's house where she took care of me, fed me(with AWESOME food) and at one point, even clothed me(her quest to get me a new wardrobe!!!!). She was a great friend so this act could still be fathomable (very difficult given the scale of generosity - but STILL remotely fathomable). Who I am very grateful to (apart from this friend) is her husband who was equally welcoming. Before this, yes, we had met at parties, hung out a bit, had a good time. But this was a completely different ball game. At no point in my stay at their house was a made to feel unwanted... Or like a burden... or even like an irritant. The both of them went out of the way to make me feel wanted (at that time, it seemed that no company wanted me!)

At the end of 2 months when I finally got that job, I couldn't help but think of what would have been my situation/condition if they weren't there to help me when I needed someone the most. With this I learnt a huge lesson - it was a lesson in giving - Generosity 101. I hope at some time in my life, I would be able to help someone else out like this.

And with this I run out of things I have learnt in the 29 years of my (miserable) life. Ofcourse there have been a lot of other things Ive learnt too ( like

1) Never ask for a Pepsi when you are on a business lunch with a client who works at Coke

2) Never go "Ohhh... cute dawwggieee ooogliii wooogliiii..."with Dobermans...

3) Never take a vegetarian on a dinner date to Mohammad Ali Road... Chances are you'll have bigger things to worry about apart from puke.

4) NEVER...repeat.. NEVER chase Vodka with beer....

5) to be continued when I'm really jobless next..... :D

... but most of these things must be learnt the hard way! :D

With this I stop here... Hope all those young people out there reading this blog, pay heed to whatever I have said. Else Santa will not be happy on the 25th!.. Adios!

If you got it, use it

I start my first blog of this new year on a rather serious note - with a question to god.

"Dear god, when you created me, why the EFF was I not given some unique skill which when coupled with my burning desire to excel, would make me successful early in life?WHY? WHY? WHY?"

(Ok.. that was 4 questions!...sue me!)

The reason behind this line of questioning is based broadly on the 2 kinds of people that I have met so far in life.

1) A lot of people I know, are VERY content with where they are and what they have achieved, even though they have all the skill sets to achieve something which is unachievable for a common man - However, they do not have the ambition to utilise these tools and reach the pinnacle of society.

2) the less unfortunate ones who have a burning hunger - a desire - almost an obsession to excel. But who sadly lack those above mentioned tools to do so.

At the outset, let me just say that I fall SLAM in the middle of the second category.

People have always asked me why I was so pessimistic and cynical in my outlook. Anything I say or do, is based on something negative that has been preemptively factored in by me (sometimes subliminally) - Its the way I have been wired I guess.

Anyhow, I have never been able to answer them simply because I have never thought about it before.

Today, in one of my introspection sessions (which are becoming quite frequent fyi) I might have figured out an answer to their question.

Brace yourselves, here I come.

I realised today, that in these 27 miserable years of my existence, I have always been in category 2 - (lets call it "Hungry but deficient") - In isolation, its fine. There are a million others like me. However, if you couple this with the fact that EVERYONE ELSE around me has been in the first category, things kind of fall into place. I positively hate people who come in that category.

Take my dad for instance - Brilliant at whatever he does - Super gift of the gab, extremely high IQ, Super duper big picture viewing capabilities.... He retires at 43.....

I mean.. FUCK....

The contentment just bugs me. Why would anyone with such talent, throw it all away to chill out at 43? If I were him, I would have used the talent... It hurts even as I type this out. (evidently, this blog has started falling on its face!)

What triggered this thought is that for the first time, in a long time, I met someone the other day, who fell somewhere in the middle of these 2 categories - forming a niche for himself. But then I thought about it further, and realised that I was mistaken indeed. There were 3 categories. Not 2. It wasnt a niche he was in. Category 3 has all the go-getters in life. All your modern day CEOs would ideally reside here. People who were firm believers that god has given them their talents for a reason. It is this category that I want to go into.

Sadly, I am yet to identify that one thing that I am good at, which will take me there. If I for a minute become optimistic, I would probably be happy that I am in category 2 rather than 1, simply because what drives me at this moment is the hunger. Thats about it. The hunger.

Delhi Blues...

Its been 8 months since I came to Delhi - and BOY am I loving it (P.S. - just became a fan of "I love New Delhi" on Facebook now!)

I have semi-permanently stayed in many places apart from Bangalore in the last decade - Lets see.. mm..Manipal, Madras(Shudders), Hyderabad, Mysore, Bombay.... A long list by any standard- but I have never come across a place like this! So like many blogs before this, let me try and list down the things which were like super strange for me (Read: Hairy Black Dosa eating Madraasi in the local context) when I came here for the first time. Some of these points are positive, and some negative. But all of them add to the flavour and make Delhi, DELHI- unique and likeable

1) Delhi is probably the ONLY place in the world where one can abuse someones mother AND sister in the SAME sentence and get away with it. Maa-Ben Gaalis are HILARIOUS for people like me. Some guys are SO abusive that BenC is usually used in place of commas (a breather, a pause) before finally landing the final maternal punch... this several times in a normal conversation!

2) People here have Dosa and Idli for DINNER!!!! - I promised that I would treat my colleague to a good South Indian breakfast of Idlis, Dosas and so on.... Before I could finish the sentence, a sort of a disgusted look had come on her face... And she was like " YOU HAVE DOSA AND IDLI FOR BREAKFAST???".... Huh... We South Indians dont now anything. Needless to say, these people have Jalebi for breakfast!!!! HOW!

3) FENTABULOUS infrastructure - Part of the reason why I love Delhi so much, I think, is because of the infrastructure that it boasts of. I have always been the sorts who got turned on by wide roads, long flyovers, well lit street corners, metros, subways and so on... Agreed, Delhi is like Del-gaon compared to Shanghai or Del-halli when compared to a Moscow or a New York... But hey, in India, it ROCKS on this front. (And maybe.. just maybe... (Bombayites can close their eyes now)... this fact is magnified because ive come from a city like Bombay where the infrastructure cant support even half the present population!)

4) THE CHICKS... ok.... maybe I can reserve this point for another blog... or a book maybe

5) Traffic sense - NEGATIVE! On my first day here, I was at the company guest house in this place called New Friends Colony. A B-school friend of mine (Bhuvan) who lives in Gurgaon was on my side of town.(Read: South Delhi) So he asked me to come to Defence Colony to meet him. So I set out on an auto. The route that this guy took, saw us on this 10-lane road, 5 on each side (NOT exaggerating here - some sort of ring road - refer to point no. 3!) where we were cruising along at an alarming speed. (65-70 kmph for a vehicle that was not designed for speeds more than 35 kmph). Now imagine this... We were on the middle lane with 2 lanes on each side. Something BIG and BLACK overtakes us from the left... ZOOOOOM... at the lights, I realised that it was one of those BMW SUVs but thats not the point im trying to make. This same Beemer gentleman is on the left most lane now, AND HE TAKE A RIGHT TURN... AND HOW! This might not sound very odd in India, but if we consider the width of the road, the time of the day (around 7 in the evening, peak hour), the size of that junction, the speed at which he accelerated from 0 to atleast 60kmph, and so on..... You can imagine how incredible a sight it must have been!...

6) THE FOOD - Sigh. Delhi is any foodie's mecca - PERIOD. The most brilliant food I have ever had in my life. Kebabs, Tikkas, Parathas, Pooris, Daals, MAKKKHHUN...this list of cardiac arrest inducing, mouth watering items are never ending really.

7) SHOWSHAA - This is something a Bangalorean like me has never come across - atleast not in this magnitude no... We South Indians have always been on the conservative side.

Let me see I can bring the difference out between what happens in the South and here, making use of 2 hypothetical father-son pairs (one from say Madras, and the other from Delhi)

SI Daddy: "Son, if you earn 1 rupee, then spend 25 paise on housing, 25 paise on food, invest 25 paise.. and save the rest" (This btw being one of those hep-SI daddies... who save only 25% of their income - operative word here being "only")

NI Daddy: "Son, if you earn 1 rupee, then I insist that you spend 1 rupee on the car, 3 rupees on eating out and 5 rupees on everything else" (Boy am I gonna get SO beaten up for this)

This, ladies and gentleman, is what I define as showshaa!... Everyone MUST know that you are living a good life - Keeping up with the Joneses can now be rephrased to "arrey, Keep up with the Bhatias da puttar!!" - The asian paints "Golf Links Ilaakha" wala ad hits the nail on the head really.

8) SPORTS FACILITIES - Another reason why I love this place so much. If you throw one stone, you hit 4 sports complexes - Playing a sport here is really affordable! For instance, in summers, I was playing tennis everyday @ 500 bucks a month - this with a coach on a cement court! (Then ofcourse, you have courts where you need to book a month in advance and then pay 1200 bucks and hour - but thats for people in point no. 7!). There are cricket grounds everywhere. It is of little wonder that the Delhi Ranji team has risen in the last few years. The opportunities available are tremendous. (Let me not start talking about Siri Fort people - I will LOSE it if I do - maybe some other day, some other blog.)

9) 20 bucks for a bottle of beer - CHEEEERSH.. ... burp - I think the differential between retail prices and the rates at a pub will be the largest in the country. So a bottle of beer that can be procured for Rs. 20 in a "THEKKA", can go as high as 300 Bald Gandhis in some pubs!

10) BANGRA POP! - Though Im not much of a clubbing sort of a person, I have been to quite a few since I have landed here. (I would just like to re-establish the fact that I have 2 left feet before a beer or two and that I am John Travolta's daddy after 4). So this is how it goes in a club. Till around 7:30 in the evening, its a normal pub - i.e. they'll play AWESOME music (not very different from what you get in Pecos, Bangalore)- So there will be a little bit of Zepplin, a little bit of Floyd, the Beatles and sometimes if you're lucky, even some Morrison. Till then, it is (what is a huge concept here) "Happy hours" -Alcohol at HALF the rate. Even then, the establishment's neon lit fly killing machine is at its buzzy loudest - More flies than people. Then at 7:30, the waiter comes around for the last Happy hour order. At this point, they music shifts from being AWESOME to "GHASTLY" - and by this I mean some crazy "House" music and techno. If you look around at this time, you will notice a lot more number of heads, most of which would be bobbing up and down, enjoying their music. This is also around the time by which I have drunk myself numb - so that the music is slightly more bearable.By 9:00, Exit remotely-something like-but-not-exactly-music , Enter BANGRA POP. The establishment COMES ALIVE. Sheesh.. UNHEARABLE music sung in the vilest language known at decibel levels which would crack concrete. (Makes Tamil rock sound like a lullaby) - People just LOSE it then. They are ALL over the place. Hands, legs, beer bottles, turbans, duppattas. etc etc.

These are just SOME of the things which make Delhi, DELHI.If I live for a while longer, I shall sit sometime, and complete this blog. Having said so much, I might be killed before the new year!

For now, I shall go back to work!

Signing off for the last time this year - BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Barabankied!

As we walk into the 2nd decade of of the 21st century, a lot of India is still how it used to be a 100 years ago.

Very recently, I got a chance to see interior India! I was sent to do a market research in this place called Barabanki which happens to be 30 km away from the UP State capital of Lucknow. The reason why I was sent there is immaterial to this blog. I did my work like I had planned to but what stood out was the fact that being only 30 km from a city like Lucknow, Barabanki doesnt seem to have progressed much.

I reached the place at 11 in the morning and to my shock I was told that the market had "just opened" for the day. So I kept quiet and started off with my research immediately. At around 1 in the afternoon, I decided to check into a Hotel. To my dismay, I was told that Barabanki didnt have hotels! So I set out to find a certain "Tourist Lodge" - a name I had come across on the web while I was researching about the place.

On reaching Tourist Lodge, I realised that it was a small 2 storey building (semi pukka construction) which had never seen a coat of paint. On inquiring whether the establishment owned an AC, I was told that they had "a" fan but the power supply was very erratic. I know I had asked a stupid question in the first place but at 48 degrees in the sun, an AC was all that I could think of. (Actually, fleeting images of a cool swimming pool with a Long Island ice tea waiting for me at the pool side also crossed my mind but I was a little pessimistic considering the surroundings)

I asked the proprietor(an obese unshaven bloke with red paan stained teeth) where I could find an AC with a room attached. After 3-4 seconds of deep thought and chewing and sucking to juices out of that paan in his mouth, I was asked to try "The Reshidancy Laaj". Hmmmm... That sounded nicer didnt it?

So I took a U-turn and headed in the general direction of the Residency Lodge. On reaching the location I was relieved to find out that it was a proper pukka building. (Never thought I would be so happy seeing a normal house). So I checked into their "best" room which the owner claimed, had an AC. Sure it did - Brand new 1956 model - oh and it worked too. Hallelujah

And in all this excitement I had forgotten that all electrical devices had one thing in common - they ran on ELECTRICITY!

The biggest mistake I made was taking an AC room simply because the fan wasnt working and there was no electricity for 18 hours that day! So one can only imagine the misery I went through!

It is then when it struck me that we take so many things for granted in cities. Yes, we curse and abuse the government when we have 1 hour powercuts, we crib when our electricity bills are so high - what we dont realise is, WE HAVE ELECTRICITY!

On the Second day of my trip, with 2 and half hours of sleep behind me, we went on a market visit around Barabanki. Boy... And I thought I had seen it all (or a lot more than what I actually have!!!)...For starters, lets just say that Barabanki was like Beverly Hills compared to its surrounding areas. Moving on, I know now, how girls in Delhi feel. LETCHED AT! For some reason, everywhere we went, I was getting stared at. I got so conscious, that I finally sat in front with the driver. (Let me just add that the staring didnt stop).

To think that we see a lot of poverty at traffic lights in cities would be huge misconception as I have never seen such poor people in my life. Funnily, they have all accepted the fact and live each day as it comes. Electricity or the lack of it doesnt bother them. What they fear most is that they might not get their only meal in the day. Village after village, nothing changed. I stopped frequently, to enquire about people's "thanda tel" application habits(The subject of my research) and everywhere, the answer was the same - "Humare paas khaane ke liye paisa nahi hai bhai sahib. Thanda tel jab kharidte hai, hum ye soch ke kharidte hai ki isse lagate lagate humaare din ki pareshaaniyaan bhool jayenge. Chaine ki neend soyenge" This might be great news for "Thanda tel" manufacturers but this really moved me.

Another thing I learnt almost immediately was the value of ONE rupee. Gosh does it go far or what. At one point, I felt hungry. So we stopped the car at this decent looking place (Read: it was covered, they had plastic cups and the onion pakodas were smelling good). I ordered 2-3 plates of pakodas and tea for the driver and myself. Soon as we had tucked into the savories and finished our tea, the owner suggested that we try his Samosas as well. He said he would fry a fresh batch just for us. I was hungry (I repeat) so I agreed to his proposition. The samosas there must have been small because between the driver and myself, we finished 9 of them. They were heavenly.

Then came the time where I had to settle the bill - A princely 19 Rupees!!!..A buck each for those samosas and 4 for a plate of pakodas with the tea on the house..... I was shocked into silence. I slipped that man 3 ten rupee notes and asked him to keep the change and I could almost see the tears in his eyes.

When we drove away, I asked the driver why the man had given us the tea (in those mutka containers) on the house as he could have easily charged for them as well. To this, he joked that perhaps the owner believed that anyone who got so much money into his house was a lucky charm - a guest of honour - and to charge for tea would be like an insult.

He laughed after that... but I didnt... How can such poor people be so generous? Why do we relatively rich people crib so much? Why is it that we are unhappy when most of the people who I saw that day seemed content? is it because they dont show it on their faces? Why do we waste food? why dont we value money? ......

These were some of the questions that haunted me all the way back to Lucknow and on my flight back to Delhi... I was going to find it difficult to sleep that night so as soon as I got out of the airport and got into a taxi, I stopped at the nearest paan waala

Yes - I bought a one rupee Sachet of "Thanda tel" - And boy did it give me a "chaine ka neend" that night!

A little more about me......General gas...

Anyone who knows me well enough will definitely know that food, Hollywood and sport constitute a large part of my life. So here is a blog about some of the things that people might not normally know about me.....

1) All roads lead to............Ro...errr......a restaurant: It has been established on numerous occasions in the past, that food is an integral part of my life (as clearly mentioned in the first line)... But I take this fact a little too far. I have a friend by the name of Deepa, who always makes fun of the way I give directions... She says that ALL LANDMARKS that I give are invariably restaurants and coffee shops or some institution connected directly or indirectly to food! So if a normal person would say "go straight down MG road and take a right at the huge rounder....", I would say "Get on to MG road... You'll pass Tandoor and BBQ nation on the way. Keep going till you see Wimpy's on the left... then take a right...If you get to Coffee Day, you've gone too far"........!!!

2) Another thing that is very characteristic of me is the way I beat around the bush. If anything can be said directly, I will keep going on and on... like the Energiser Bunny on a tangent. Which is why, during the 2 years of my MBA course, whenever we needed to stretch a presentation, that was left to me!... I would talk about anything and everything and buy time....Especially subjects like CSR and Consumer Behaviour  where we had difficult teachers who would have clauses like "each group has to give a presentation for AT LEAST half an hour"... this when the essence of the presentation could be delivered in 3 and a half minutes - that too by eloquent chaps like Atal Bihari Vajpayee in his element who could tranquilise a virile ox in half a minute...

3) Oh... Since I have given such an elaborate analogy, it would be appropriate to mention here that I am FAMOUS for giving such analogies. I guess this is something that someone who is a regular reader of my blog would figure out.. But none the less, this is for the benefit of someone who has chanced it for the first time.

4) Procrastination is another of my favorite pastimes.... Trust me when I say that I started this blog 2 weeks ago!!!. I couldn't seem to be able to complete it (as it is about me you see!!) so I kept pushing it further behind without completing it... This trait has got me into trouble MANY a times. Submissions, household chores, haircut Sundays, duty visits to relatives... oh the LIST goes on.. 

5) Talking about lists... A majority of things that I say are heavily embedded with a whole lot of shit that normal people don't bother looking up - Trivia. I wont say I'm a quizzer. In fact, I'm far from a quizzer. But if someone were to ask me to give them a list of the 5 most feared people in the history of humanity, I would rattle the top5 in an instant. Lists have been things that have always got me to sit up and think. The List of people with the highest recorded (or estimated) IQs (which btw, is headed by an English chiropractor who's name I don't recollect followed by 2 of the greatest musicians - Mozart and Beethoven -  known to mankind in the top 10), or List of the countries that could blow up the World in 1975, 1985... and so on...or List of the most famous gangsters known to mankind...List of sporting events with the highest TRPs......AAAAAAAARGH .....The lists go on and I cant get enough of them... The reason for this, I guess, is attributed to the way my father (probably one of the most glib talkers I have ever seen - a personification of the phrase "gift of the gab") speaks - Comparisons and lists.... A normal conversation about a seemingly harmless topic like say...mmm.. Tennis.... would invariably see you hearing him say something like "Mc Enroe had the greatest game followed by Borg, Cash and Connors in that order..."...This with an air of such confidence that even Jimmy Connors would believe that he was inferior to Bjorn Borg or John Mc Enroe.... whoa.. come on man.. I didn't ask for that.... Well.. that's what people think when I talk!!!

6) What else...mmmmmm... aaah... yes....Punctuality.... Its pretty ironic, but for a serial procrastinator, I follow German standard time when it comes to punctuality. I'm usually NEVER late.. as a result I HATE waiting....... There is a famous joke/saying which goes like this

"People who come in last(read: L.A.T.E) for a get together often have the MOST amount of fun".................... Very true shit...

7) Another one of my favorites apart from the usual suspects (i.e. Food, cricket and Hollywood) is music. Yes yes...  I have written a blog about my favorite 10 bands (a LIST again folks)... But something that even people who know me surely cannot fathom is the fact that I am absolutely infatuated by Western Classical music. Actually, I can even go as far as saying that I love good Indian classical music or better still fusion music(or PURE music... in the form unadulterated by a squeaky voice) . Though I wouldn't be able to name even ONE Indian artist to save my life, its the pure music which gives me high. Among the Western artists, my all time favorites are Beethoven, Bach, Mozart and Vivaldi (in that order)... sue me if I am boring you with another list! This form of music just calms me when I'm pissed off in/with life :D... There have been a numerous occasions when I shout/bang doors/abuse using family references/break things in a fit of rage (etc) and just calm down in a jiffy after a 20 minute session with the masters!....

8) I am superstitious to the bloody core. If it has been said that one must NOT break mirrors or cross the path of a black cat or walk under a ladder balanced against a wall (etcetra etcetra and the other Spanish girls).... I wont. Oh.. Believe me, there have been times when I have sat in the same god-damned position on a bloody sofa just because Sachin Tendulkar hit a boundary in a cricket match. 

9) And finally, this blog would be incomplete if I do no mention that I am a born PESSIMIST.  That too of the highest order (if there are orders of pessimism that is). "The bottle is HALF EMPTY".. is an attitude that I have always carried off with seemless ease. A simple explanation for this is that I believe that it is better to not hope for too much in life simply because if it doesn't match up to what you wished for, you will be disappointed. For instance, right from the beginning, I don't believe that too many people will read this blog even though it will make me happy if a lot of people read it. But when a lot of people message/mail/scrap/comment about it, it makes me happy simply because I wasn't expecting too much of a response.

On that happy note, I shall sign off for the night. I hope I have not bored you people with too much of gas. But hey, this is what has been taught to us in the last 2 years!

Good night...

Hurray by Toutatis....

Ive been writing blogs (note: I DIDN'T start with "I've been blogging") for a 2-3 years now so its pretty strange that I have not written anything about one of my favorite pastimes - ASTERIX. I am so fond of this comic that if I recollect correctly, it was the first thing I ever read in my life. It so happens that my Dad too, happens to be a huge fan of the series. So my dear Mother (very far sighted woman) bought him 20 of the then 27 published books for the first of my Dad's birthdays after their marriage. ( The purchase happened around June 1983 - The original series was completed by co-author Uderzo sometime in 1983!!)

She bought the first set of books at Rs. 18 per copy!!!!!!!!! When she bought the rest of the books(i.e. till Book No. 27 - "Asterix and Son") 2 years later, they were going at Rs. 25/copy so if we consider that the paper back edition goes at Rs. 400/copy today, we're sitting on a mini fortune! Today, we are the proud owners of every Asterix comic in print. Here I say "we" because the last 5-6 books  were bought by me - Whenever I happened to spot a new book, paperback or hardbound Id grab hold of it (Though they stopped being as hilarious post "Asterix and the Magic Carpet" - Nevertheless, one must complete a collection once started) - So much so, I'm guessing my mother and I have spent almost the same amount in getting the entire collection!(without getting time value of money into the picure) 

My mother's  favorite story (that she narrates to anyone who cares to listen) is how at one point, the men of her life would sit on opposite sides of the Sofa in the drawing room, each with a copy of Asterix in their hands, and guffaw/giggle/bellow in laughter/snicker at what they read.

Moving on from the trivial details, Asterix is one of the most entertaining pieces of work/art that ANYONE could ever get their hands on. Personally, I believe that it takes the pants of any other comic ever created (Including Mr. Bill Waterson's brainchild... I hope I don't get killed for saying this though!). If an English language translation (from French in which it is originally written) can be SO hilarious, I can only imagine what it must be like in French!

Seen in the figure on the left, Asterix is the little guy in the winged helmet. He is with his inseparable friend Obelix (P.S. MY CHILDHOOD HERO) - the thin guy in the blue and white vertical stripes (He's NOT fat.....His chest has slipped a bit you see!)... They are the inhabitants of a little Gaulish Village in Armorica (Part of ancient Gaul a small strip near the Brittany peninsula) which is filled with these FEARLESS Gauls who's only fear is that the sky might some day, fall on their heads!

 

I wont waste too much time on giving a synopsis of the comic (as Wikipedia has done an exceptional job). However, it must be said that my knowledge about the Roman empire (around the time of Julius Caesar - i.e. Circa 50BC) is above average. According to a very old Hindu newspaper article  (written around 1990), people who are well-versed and familiar with the comic strip are said to have a better idea of that Roman period than students of History who have studied about Rome! This is understandable as almost every book of the series has some tiny yet witty little  reference to Julius Caesar's empire - for instance, in Asterix and Son, when Brutus's evil ploy is uncovered, JC says the immortal line "E tu Brutus..?" - Pure genius!

I recently finished watching an HBO series on this period by the name of ROME. Though this is not a comedy by any stretch of imagination, it is perhaps the best serial I have ever seen (and believe me when I say that I have watched MANY MANY serials in my stay at Mumbai). Having read the Asterix collection (over 300 times each... at least) it made watching Rome all the more enjoyable as I was able to relate the above mentioned "witty" snippets found in the comic to what is actually shown in the serial (and which in fact, actually happened 2000 odd years ago!)

The funniest part of the Asterix comic book set is the NAMES of all the characters. A separate blog can be written on the names alone as they will make anyone with a decent sense of humour, CRY with laughter. On this note, I shall stop by naming some of the Gauls (that I can remember off hand) and hope that this blog makes anyone who hasn't read the comic , READ IT!

Asterix - The main character. All the comics are centered around his adventures along with...

Obelix- The Menhir delivery man! (already introduced as my childhood hero). Would it be reduntant if I mentioned that he loves eating?

Dogmatix - Obelix's tiny little dog

Getafix - The village druid who brews the famous Magic potion which makes these fearless warriors invincible

Cacofonix - The village bard...Has the ability to make milk curdle with his voice..... when its still in the cow!!!

Geriatrix - The oldest man in the village!

Fullyautomatix - The village blacksmith

Unhygienix - the village fishmonger. These 2 are always BASHING each other up. A very common scene in an Asterix comic shows Unhygienix thumping Fullyautomatix with a rotten fish as the blacksmith gives it back with his famous hammer!

Chief Vitalstatistix - The brave Gaulish chief of the village (perched high on the shield of Vercingentorix)

Note: these are only a few of the characters. (as seen in the picture above)

If anyone hasn't read this series yet - WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????

YUM BEE AYE....

All good things come to an end.... Or that is what they all say.

And like everything else, my MBA course at NMIMS, too, has come to an end. Unlike the Engineering course that I completed from MIT Manipal, I leave NMIMS with a heavy heart. These 2 years have been a life saver - simply magical - for a whole lot of reasons, the biggest being that had it not been for NM, I would have surely committed suicide!!! Most people who know me would know that I wasn't exactly the happiest bloke before taking up this course. (Note: already been extensively blogged about). It is only after one gets a little bit of work experience does one value  "studying" again. I had heard about how difficult it was to get back to studies after money came into ones hands - all bunkum. Not only is it easy, its also more valued!

This being said, the course has also taught me a lot. Having an Engineering degree and a "science background", a whole lot of things that were taught as part of the course were new to me. My friends here who have a commerce background or have done courses like BBM, have already had an exposure to a lot of Marketing/HR/Finance models and basics. So to them, this course might not have been too much of a value add (for some, not more than the value of the paper on which our degree will be printed). Even simple terms/common marketing jargon like "Positioning", "targeting"and "segmenting" (which by the way, form the core of our marketing course) were new to me. So in a way, even though I haven't been placed yet, I can truthfully say that I am now better equipped to face the world.

On the social front, I have made a lot of friends and acquainted myself with a lot of people who I would have ordinarily not known. Due to the diverse background of my class, I have met people from all walks of life from most of the States in India (this is something I didn't get even in an institution like Infosys). 

And finally, I have had an opportunity to stay in one of the most famous places in the World (more so, post Slumdog millionaire) This is the first time that I have actually had hard core exposure to proper "city" life. Bombay can easily be the mascot for Citibank as I truly believe that this city, NEVER sleeps. I wouldn't go so far as saying I like the city (I DON'T!)... but it sure has taught me a lot - given me a sneak-preview of life and how hard and unfair it can get. 

With this, I stop. I am tired...Very tired. With another chapter of my life done, I hope the future has good things in store for me.

SC/ST??? You lucky bum

Probably the most unfair thing about our education system, and much debated as well, is the reservation of seats for "Special Category" students (i.e. SC/ST students) in Government institutions. (I'd like to think of SC as "Special Category" rather than "Scheduled Caste" so sue me if you don't like it)

Sadly, whether we like it or not, the best higher education institutes in the country are undoubtedly the ones that are run by the Government - An irony by itself because I distinctly remember my dear mother threatening me several years ago when I was in half pants,  with "If you carry on like this, I'll enroll you into a bloody Government run municipal school...."...I wish she would say that now. Because if she could have enrolled me into a Government run (B) school, I would have been the most mischevious bloke alive so that she could keep her promise!!

Why I brought up this topic is as follows. 

When I was in school, I had this friend.... or let me say acquaintance (I will not name him). He used to live next to my house so we would board the school van together. He was a smart bloke no doubt.. but all of us in school had been trained to be smart! (ahem ahem).

So as the years passed by, we would make the usual "in-van-polite-chitchat" everyday. Once we had outgrown the school van, we would make the usual "in-public-transport-polite-chitchat" to pass time. Other than that, I would have no social contact with him (In school or at home). Soon, it was time to give our boards (10th Standard) after which I continued to do my 11th and 12th in School while he disappeared (I later found out that he did his +2 in St. Josephs...A decent PUC college in Bangalore) So I lost touch with him. 

When I finished giving my 12th standard boards and the Common Entrance Test (CET) for admission into engineering colleges in Karnataka, I managed a rank of 2300 odd and this got me admission into the Mechanical Engineering Branch at MIT Manipal. It is then when I met this chap again. It was in a bus, so it is norm that you do "in-public-transport-polite-chitchat"to pass time.

Here is how our conversation went.

Me: "Hey dude, wassup? How did you do in the CET?"

Bloke: "Hey, pretty ok man. I got a 1500 rank..." (No "what about you?" mind you...Seriously, did this guy even study in FAPS?)

Me  (Burning a little.. I thought I was better than this guy) : " Oh.. cool man. Good for you... So you must have got Mechanical or Electrical in an average college in Banagalore only right?" (This because I thought he wanted to stay in Bangalore)

Bloke: " No dude, I got KREC -Tronics"

*very long pause... My jaw has hit the ground by now*

Me: "WHAAAAAAT... HOW THE....?"

Bloke (very proudly at that): "I come under SC/ST quota man"....

Ok... Now for a little background. KREC-Tronics refers to Electronics and Communication Engineering (EnC) at the Karnataka Regional Engineering College (KREC, now NIT-K) which is probably one of the best institutes in the country to pursue an engineering degree (On par with the IITs and BITS Pilani). It is the best of the RECs (or NITs) and arguably as good as any IIT. During my time, one could get admission into KREC giving CET. Through CET, if one needed to get into KREC EnC, the person's rank should have been better than 30. (I know a friend who had a rank of 33, who was on the waitlist but eventually converted the seat). To give you a perspective, the year I gave CET, all the "decent" branches (i.e. EnC, Comps, Mech, Electrical and Civil)  filled up by Rank 550.Our man had a 1500 odd rank and he had waltzed into the place!!!!...

He was proud of it. Thats what bugged me the most. 

We, i.e. those who have been brought up in FAPS (Frank Anthony Public School) believe that all are equal irrespective of our backgrounds. You may come walking to school or may be chauffered to school in a Benz; you might be a Mallu from Kerala, a Gult from Andhra, a Konde-mama from Punjab or a Kannadiga localite; You could be fair, dark, white, black blue or (in some cases) yellow.......... But once you enter the gate, you are no different from the next chap. Hence.. the uniform! Now THAT is something to be proud of. Which is one of the reasons why I love my school so much. Nobody cares whether you were in the "General Category" or a SC or ST. The only time you had an edge while getting admissions was if you were an Anglo Indian. That too only a small teeney-weeney edge. But hey, its a private institute and believe me, THEY ARE GENUINELY MINORITIES (and class acts at that). Besides, once you were in, you would caned if you did anything wrong irrespective of your caste, creed or sex. (Gosh.. I miss school :(... )

But this is STILL not the reason for my writing this article. The other day, when I was joblessly orkutting (yes, its a verb now!), I chanced upon this above mentioned acquaintance's profile. When I saw the pictures in his album, my heart sank. He was now in IIM A (I know I'm being a bit unfair to him by not giving him enough credit... After all, he might have got in by merit right?.....!!!!!)

It is a sad thing this caste system. If only my fore father's fore fathers had not indulged in bullying people of allegedly lower castes, I might not have blogged today... 

Pool of drool....

The concept of tagging is pretty new to me so Rach, I hope I do this one justice!

I guess it would be appropriate to start by saying, FOOD is probably one of my BIGGEST loves. Sure I love Brit comedy, Hollywood, Good music, cricket and cars... But food is waaaaay there on top of this list so when I saw Rachana's blog, apart from drooling, I got down to answering those questions in my mind.

Here they are in writing

1) One dish you can crave for any given time of the day/ night/ situation?

I'll have to say GFP (Golden fried prawns) from this small little joint near my place in Bangalore (Called Chung's). These are by far the most delicious objects known to mankind. These little beauties (not really little coming to think of it) are CRISP on the outside, mushy on the inside and need to be dipped in a combo of chilly paste and hot garlic sauce...

Gosh.. theres a pool of drool forming here...Oh.... thats a nice title of this blog.. Here goes ... (changes the title of the blog from "Tagged" to "pool of drool")

2) One dish you'd never had and would love to regardless of the expense?

Mmmmm.... I'd like to try Roast camel...Ive heard its a delicacy in Africa. The meat, I'm told is tough. But with a little bit of spice, even rubber tastes passably nice...

I chose this only cos its so exclusive.

3) Most expensive dish you've ever had?

Lobster Thermidor..... (gulp)......3 grand a portion.. and the portion wasnt enough for the skin of my back teeth..... Thats the kind of meal where one must eat BEFORE and AFTER if he/she wants to feel good. Luckily, this was a treat. I love rich uncles.

4) Most bizarre dish you've ever seen or tasted? Like totally blown your socks off! Makes you gag every single time your lay your eyes on it. (Hope you've got the point by now: P)

Boiled veal in mint sauce.... (pukes).. NEVER AGAIN....

5. Your poison?

Good ol' Budweiser... !!!!!(burp)

6. One a lonely rainy day, your sitting cozily on your sofa, you'd crave for?

KFC........................... (God bless the Colonel)... (sniff)....

7. First forbidden savory you'd crave for while you've been sick?

Creamy chilled portion of Rasmalia... 

8. Your all time favorite TV snack:

Cliched` but POP CORN!!!... Im a huge fan of Popcorn.. Cant see a movie without having popcorn even if the movie is seen after dinner...!

9. On your first ever kitchen experience you prepared:

Egg Bhurji and toast... that took me approximately I and a half hours to make (thats 1 hour for cutting 2 onions and a small tomato and half an hour cooking time)

P.S. It was good....

10. After a tiring day at work/ college/shopping/loitering you'd loved to come home to?

Aloo Gobi, 4 chapattis, a small bowl of Curd, a small bowl of some nice Northie daal and a LARGE mug of Thumbs up...

11. A cuisine your most comfortable with:

Chineeeeeese.... (i.e. Indian Chinese)... Always loved chilly chicken in ANY form (close second to GFP in question number 1)

12. A snack which you loved A LOT back when you were a kid and still love it till date?

Hot Dogs..... (with Mustard Sauce ONLY)

13. A dish which your mum makes/ used to which you simply adore?

Cook Upkari...... All time favorite... In the GFP category for veg food

14. Most expensive dish you ever had?

Is this a psychometry test of some sort? are questions being asked to trip the respondant?

15. What you're eating RIGHT NOW? or had immediately before?

Two eggs, Sunny side up, with 4 slices of toast, 2 slices of Salami and Tomato Chilly sauce (Maggi's).

This was washed down with a cup of South Indian Filter Coffee (aka Kaapi) which was accompanied by a crisp toast with Kissan Jam..... Oh.. and an orange..

What can I say... I love breakfast.

Just when you thought it was all over...BONUS! (Don't cha love em?) ;)*16. Your friends are coming over on short notice. You have half an hour. How would save your dignity by being hospitable and feed your friends? (Considering you can't take them to a restaurant)

Funny this was asked. I had a friend over the other day. A Tam... She wanted to eat some home food.... So in a short span of an hour, I whipped up some Cabbage Poriyal (aka upkari), Aloo Gobi, Rice, Rasam and some papads... oh.. and I bought some curd as well...

P.S. I'm a genius in the kitchen.. LOL...

(Sniff)

I have always laughed at people who told me that they came out of a theatre weeping as I've never understood how anyone could "feel" so much. Even my mother (my OWN blood) carries a pack of hankies with her whenever she sees a movie (on TV or in a theatre).  Initially I thought that it was some kind of a fad or something which would make you "cool" (amongst the girls... If a guy did that, he'd be labled "wimp" for life!).. but then I realised that grown up men too would hold back a tear in some cases. For instance, a friend of mine (name withheld as I dont want to be responsible for him being called a wimp) said he was "moved' when he saw Taare Zameen par... For the life of me, I couldnt figure out what was so sad about the movie but I guess he has his reasons. This is when I realised that everyone has a "threshold-level-movie" at which she/he gets "moved".  After all, I did come out BAWLING after seeing Krish.

Apart from Krish (reasons for my crying have been extensively blogged about), I saw a movie today which moved me beyond a point that I have ever been moved...(phew.. so much for an elaborate justification). The movie in question is ''The boy in the striped pyjamas" - a film centred around the time when Nazi occupied Germany was just about to start WW-II. I wouldnt term it as the best film I've ever seen, but it sure got me "feeling" (and the first one at that). Again, it is clearly a low budget movie without any big star or exotic locations so dont blame me if you dont like the film. The movie is centred around an 8 year old boy (son of a highly ranked Nazi officer), who happens  to befriend a small jewish boy of the same age, who is staying in the POW camp. I wont play spoilsport and blurt out the rest though I must say that there isnt much in the story as most of the scenes have been shot inside a house or at a POW fence. (as seen in the promos pic) But the screen play has been done to perfection. No overacting, no unneccessary melodrama -  just the right amount of drama for my liking. 

The movie depicts the horrors of the Nazi POW camps. Though such attrocities have not been graphically displayed (as in some earlier Oscar winning movies), if one is aware of what happened to the jews during that period, the viewer will suitably shocked! 

The only grouch I have with the movie is similar to one of the MANY grouches I had with slumdog millionaire and that is, the protagonists all have a distinct British accent. Dont get me wrong, I love the accent. But since this was a movie which portrayed Nazis and Jews, a less distinct accent (or an accent that Germans have when speaking English) would have probably increased its effectiveness.

I wont say much more now... Do watch the movie if you get the chance (I think there is a DVD rip on torrents)... I go back to being jobless for now..

Hiel Hitler....

Bangalored....

Interviewer : Since you are a Bangalorean, give  me 3 things that are unique to Bangalore - which defines Bangalore - the reasons why you love Bangalore

Me: 1) The coffee culture

2) The Pub culture (in your FACE Mr. Muthalik)

3) The People...

Interviewer: (Raises and eyebrow) The people? Explain...

Me: Well, to start of with, Bangalore has arguably the most cosmopolitain population in the country. Such levels of diversity can only be explained by the fact that only 23% of Bangaloreans are Kannadigas! They are sweet people who do not force you to speak in the local language (Though in the recent past, there have been some pro-kannada incidents). If you leave autodrivers outside the realm of this conversation, Bangaloreans are accomodating and helpful - on par with the Mumbaites on this factor. I have stayed in Bangalore for around 20 years - I dont know Kannada!

If only.....

It was 2:30 in the morning, 30 minutes before start of play. He switched on the television and turned up the volume. In anticipation of this match, he had slept on the couch all night, or part of the night till then, with the remote close by.
The India-Pakistan-Australia tri series (Carlton and United Series) being played in Australia, was on and India was playing Pakistan. Ravi lived for such moments. Throughout his childhood, he like many others, had been brought up on cricket trivia, facts and figures and little anecdotes which made the game all the more quaint. He knew all about the Ashes, could rattle off the playing XI of the English team that lost to West Indies in the finals of the WC 1979, Andy Flower's Test as well as ODI stats and even Sachin Tendulkar's favorite sweet dish!But hey... so could a million other people right? After all, we were talking about Cricket - A religion in India.

Having heard him wake up, Amitha, Ravi's ever-caring mother got up to see if he needed a snack. "Would you like to eat a sandwich Ravi?" she asked. That was greeted with a grunt which was deciphered as a "yes". No time to talk woman - India vs Pakistan happening. So she set off to the kitchen to make her son a midnight snack. While she was at it, she also put the kettle on to boil so that he could wash his snack down with a hot cup of tea.

Outside the kitchen, some 7500 kilometers away, Mohammad Azharuddin had won the toss and this had made Ravi excited. "We're batting, we're batting", he was shouting, oblivious to the fact that the world around him was in deep slumber. Amitha, visibly annoyed hissed out to Ravi to keep it down. "Shhhh Ravi, everyone is sleeping". So he did.
In 10 minutes, just as Sachin Tendulkar was walking in to bat, Amitha brought out the sandwich and tea on a tray and stood besides Ravi, whos eyes were closed. He was saying a small prayer - A ritual that was followed before any India game. 

"Oh god, may Sachin Tendulkar hit a century today and make India win. May Srinath break Inzamam's teeth and kumble take 5 wickets...."

This being said, he opened his eyes, stood up and groped about for something in the dark as his mom watched from a distance. He finally found his walking stick, flipped it open and deftly made his way to the toilet, waving his stick to avoid collision with any furniture. Amitha wiped off a tear, one of many she had wiped off like that in the past. She placed the plate on the coffee table besides where he was sitting and quietly went back into the darkness of her room.

Ravi was congenitally blind. Yet, cricket was his life. He worshipped the game. 

If only the Indian cricket team could hear that voice whenever he prayed - And those of a billion other people who wished them well. If only that famous start-studded Indian cricket team knew the passion their fellow Indians had for the sport. If only those overpaid professionals understood that a loss in a match was way more than just a few statistics artfully woven about by mathematicians. If only.........

i pods ROCK

I don't know how many people will read this. I really don't care!But this is for anyone who cares to listen

" I PODS ROCK!!!!"

Let me explain this emotion that I have shown.

It just so happens that I was gifted an iPod shuffle for my birthday. At the same time, the phone in my possession happened to be Nokia 5300 (music version - Xpress music - positioned as a phone with portable music). Having used this phone for 5 months, I was under the impression that there was no difference between this and any other music player(mP3 player). After all, it did have 1GB of storage space, awesome earphones and a convenient user interface - Nokia's premium music phone of its day. Why would anyone need anything else?
At the same time, many people have told me that Apple products were overrated. The Mac, the PC.... and even the iPod... I had heard them out.

Enter - i Pod --> this led to something I had never heard in my life - Perfection - the sound of music!My brains were blown out of my skull!!!.... Gosh.. The clarity of sound and the attention to detail, the delicate balance of bass and treble... It was any music lovers dream to listen to music so clear, loud and without distortions and crackling background noises.

Why I write this piece is, last night, before going to sleep, I put my phone for charging next to my head as usual. However, by chance, my phone headphones were lying around. I decided to listen some music before I fell asleep. And since Rock on seems to be the in thing these days, Rock on it was. It took me 20 seconds to turn it off. It was ghastly. After being pampered with such perfection, anything else seemed worse than ordinary.

How can people still throw stones at such a modern marvel?
Sheeeeesh!

Briton? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The British are a funny race. In fact I can easily say that the British are the funniest people alive. The English Football team for example, is the biggest joke on earth, since the previous biggest joke winner (i.e. former England cricket team who's most outstanding feature was Andrew Caddick's ears.)It is only fitting that such a ridiculously funny country has Prince Charles as its figure head... well almost(I deliberately chose Prince Charles here cos he's way funnier than his mum. I almost die laughing on merely seeing the man.....).

Coming to think of it, anything and everything that the Brits have done since the sun set on that Great British Stiff Upper lip, has been a big joke. Rolls Royce, Jaguar, Cherie Blair's contraceptive promotion program(wait a minute, doesnt she have 4 kids?), Prince Charles, Margeret Thacher's hairstyle, their nuclear program(which is made to look like a toy gun arsenal when compared to the Soviet Program in the Yes Minister series), Prince Harry's war efforts, Mad cows, naming hills after Wimbledon's biggest loosers... this list is endless really.

Talking about Tim Henmen and Henmen Hills, another hilarious trait of the British is the way that they hero worship their "Sports achievers" (Read: looooosers). When England beat Australia in the Ashes after close to 3 billion attempts, they wanted to Knight Andrew Flintoff. Huh... When England fluked the Rugby world cup, they ACTUALLY knighted the captain of the team(I forgot the blokes name). In fact Knighthood has become such a joke now (hence getting back to the point of the article) that it wont be long before they start dishing out blue ribbons at souvenier stores. And since we are still on the topic of British stupidity and sports, doesnt it really crack you up when you hear David Beckham's squeeky tone? I can swear on all the British Gods that Posh Spice has a more manly voice! (My apologies to DB fans)

On a very serious note though, the British have really excelled at creating humour. :) . (See... told you that the Brits were a funny race!). What was started by Sir PG Wodehouse in the post war era(when that famous sun I was talking about, just set on the GBE) rubbed off on the theatre industry in Britain giving rise to some of the funniest, most delightful sitcoms ever. As a person who loves good humour, British Comedy has been RIGHT on the top of my "favorite pass time" list. Black Adder, Fawlty Towers, The Monty Python's Flying Circus, Allo Allo.............Aaaargh... another endless list... All very good examples confirming my argument.

One might ask why I suddenly came up with such a ridiculous blog. Well... What can I say... I'm jobless and my Mom's just returned from her holiday. Any guesses from where?...............

Hehehehehe... Right....

BRITON!

An ode to Music - Part I

Have you ever experienced maniacal rage only to be soothed by the sound of Music? Well I sure have and I am still wondering why its taken me so long to blog about something that is so important to me in my life - a funny sort of importance actually... like one of those computer programs running in the background which keeps the system alive.

Like I said, I LOVE music, but have never taken an active part in its creation. Though I've always wanted to learn to play the drums, I have not taken an initiative to do so.
Personally, I like western music created between the 60's and the mid 90s. Before I continue, let me list down my all time 10 most favorite bands (in no particular order other than the first )

1) Queen - My all time favorite band was held together by this chap called Freddie Mercury, who incidentally, happens to be an INDIAN!!! He was born and brought up as Farook Bulsara in one of the Parsee colonies in Bombay.... He is considered to be one of the greatest musicians thtr ever walked the earth

2) The Beatles - Need no introduction! Paul's the dude :)

3) Joe Satriani - The best thing I like about western music is those crazy guitar pieces. This man Satriani, is the best guitarist alive! He makes the guitar cry..... For those who are just starting to listen to Western music, Joe is a recommended option

4) GNR (Guns n Roses)- unconventional rockers with a starking raving mad lead singer who is supposed to be a god damn eccentric genius - Axl Rose is one of those guys who was able to tame the other members in the band who were SUPER STARS by their own right (Does Slash need an introduction?). These guys had THE most extravagant live shows after another of my favorites, Pink Floyd

5) Led Zeppelin - At one point of time, the 2 main members, (Bob Plant and Jimmy Page) were regarded to be the best duo around. Led Zeppelin again, created crazy unconventional music which was very easily identifiable and which began an era of musicians who tried to ape them. Funnily, their lighter songs are so soothing, one wonders how these pot heads could make the other hard music that they made.

6) Pink Floyd - Poetry in the musical form. Their music comes under the genre psychedelic rock and absolutely must be listened to when you're tripping on a happy beer high (or any other high!)

7) Aerosmith - Steven Tyler has a mouth which will put a rubber band to shame! For those who listen to Aerosmith, they will understand what I'm trying to say. Though I dont listen to ALL their music(they are one of the longest surviving bands in the history of music), the songs I do like of theirs, feature in my top 10

8) Deep Purple - I absolutely LOVE the energy that this group has on stage or in their songs. I heard "Highway Star" as a kid and instantly fell in love with the group.

9) Billy Joel - Singer, poet, sex symbol... you name it, he's done it. His "We didnt start the fire" is moving, provocative, amazingly melodious and one of those numbers which you end up humming for the rest of the week when you hear it for the first time.

And last but not the least,
10) Lynyrd Skynyrd - Most people would have not heard of this band but Im certain that everyone (who reads this blog or otherwise) has heard thier "SWEET HOME ALABAMA". SHA is an anthem of sorts but if one likes guitar pieces, then their one number (Free bird) has arguably the best guitar piece ever. A 14 minute track, the lead guitarist just LOOSES it for 9 minutes in the end. A must hear!

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Bands that I really love but missed the list (only cos these were the first 10 that came to mind) are THE WHO, Bon Jovi(esp for Richie Sambora), Stevie Vie, U2, Eric Clapton,CCR, Smashing Pumpkins, Metallica(their lighter numbers), Live, The Eagles, Nirvana, Bob Dylan.........................
In the next part, I shall try to list down all the numbers that I really love and must be heard by people who love good rock music (and not the contemprory trash they pass off as music).

If you havent passed out reading this yet... I apologise for getting carried away!

Confuscious.....the great thinker....

I usually have something in mind before I come online to post a blog. But today I'm blank. So take this as a kind of a warning and leave NOW when you can!!! Hehehe

Like I said, I have no clue as to what I am going to write. Pretty similar to the story of my life coming to think of it. Aaaah.. the story of my life would be a good topic now wouldnt it? ....................... (long pregnant pause)............... Sharks.. there isnt much!

Throughout my life, the choices I have made have always been results of rejecting other options. For instance, I took up Science in Std 11 for the simple reason that I sucked at the arty and commercy (new adjectives please note) subjects. Besides my childhood plans of wanting to become an elephant were not very financially viable (In these days of rising inflation, sugarcane too has its price). The fact that I was rather good at Maths (still am if I have to say so myself..... does anyone hear trumpets in the background?) kind of supported my decision to take up science.

Again, when it came to the time of choosing a career path, I rejected the option of taking up a pure science cos it wasnt cool enough. Medicine was out as I couldnt spell Biyoligy properly.... :D.... and I really dint want to bust my ass studying law. So I took the easy way out -> Engineering!

In engineering as well, I dint seem to have an inclination towards any subject in particular. So I took Mechanical only because the seat was free and I wasnt really enthu about anything anyway. Plus I was exceptional when it came to sketching (again, Trumpets anyone?) so this seemed to compliment my choice

Then I graduated. Dint have a clue as to what I wanted to do. However, I did know that Mechanical Engineering companies were not my cup of tea. And since Mechanical Engineering is an ever green subject, I took up the offer Infy gave me.
This is when everything in my life started going down hill!
3 years of misery led me to grab the first MBA college that came my way(NMIMS) but on retrospective thinking, I do not regret taking up admission here. Agreed, we are not half as good as the IIMs ... but nothing can be worse than doing a job which you are not good at. The pressure is immense cos you know you will never be able to excel even if you try.
There are somethings some people just cant do. My dad cant draw to save his life. My mom wont be chosen to play any sport even if she is the only person on earth..... Similarly, I cant code.


Wow... from where to where this blog came!....
As of now... I really dunno what I want to do in life. Nothing seems to be good enough for me and I dont seem to be good enough for anything. Mid life crisis has kinda found itself a very strong victim... ME....
Counselling from anyone who cares to read this blog, is welcome!